You're my little dorito
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
