The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
