They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
