I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
