My liver just broke up with me...
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
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i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
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I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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