once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
