I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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