There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
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