it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
