fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
