i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
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He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize