I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
