My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
