whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
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