I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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