We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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