dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
He did a backflip because drugs
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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