im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
