this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm at about main and main street
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize