it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
