If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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