I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
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