When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
