i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
