just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
