Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
