so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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