I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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