call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize