Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Banned from zoo.
Again?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
