Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
