Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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