Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
