We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize