I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
