Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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