OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
