Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
