Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
