If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
