Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
