she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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