I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
