You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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