just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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