i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
