So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
