she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
