went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
