It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
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I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
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Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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