Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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