he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
