She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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