i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
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I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
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Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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