I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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