and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Randomize
