Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
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