thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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