Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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