Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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