I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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